Hello, Glass Art Friends:

I have been creating glass beads for less than a year, but have collected beads for many years, made jewelry most of my life and I previously made stained glass panels, so I am not new to beadwork or glass. I live in beautiful Colorado Springs with my wonderful DH, Bobby, and our two Labrador Retrievers, Chile (the Hot Dog) and Maize (the Corn Dog). We have a large extended family (his and hers) with a total of four children and five grandchildren. But only one child still lives at home (sort of, as she is 19 and very independent, so we rarely see her). We enjoy the peace of living (mostly) alone.

After many years in the Air Force, I spent my professional life in the defense engineering field, mostly as a marketing director seeking large-scale systems engineering projects. During that time, I traveled extensively throughout the U.S. meeting customers and assembling teams of high-tech companies to bid on complex military contracts.

Not quite two years ago, during a business trip to the Boston area, I was bitten by a tick in my hotel room and contracted Lyme disease, though it took many months for me to get a diagnosis. Lyme is a crafty little bugger...a thing called a "spirochete." According to the Lyme Disease Foundation:

"The bacterium is able to move around the body through the bloodstream and between tissue. It can also invade tissue, replicate, and leave the cell - destroying the cell as it emerges. Sometimes, as the bacterium emerges, the cell wall collapses around the bacterium, forming a "cloaking device". This action may aid the bacteria's ability to hide from the immune system response."

The little buggers were sneaking into my cells, hiding from my immune system and wreaking havoc on my vital functions.

I ached from one end to the other. I felt like I had mild flu, pretty much constantly. Various indications of high levels of internal inflammation showed up on tests. I had all manner of diagnostic tests, many new and experimental (that means insurance would not pay for them). I went to different doctors. My problem always seemed to be "right up their alley," but their cures really didn't help. I got all kinds of diagnoses, from early onset rheumatoid arthritis to chronic fatigue syndrome, to various food intolerances, etc. I gave up this food and then that food. I juiced. I took buckets of supplements.

All I knew was that I could barely drag myself through a day, coming home early from work to drop exhausted into bed. Worst of all, I lost all my powers of mental concentration and analytic thought, which together had been my Ace In The Hole.

I had to stop traveling, then skiing (which I loved and at which I had finally become proficient), then working, socializing and pretty much everything else. At my low point, I got lost at Wal-Mart, suddenly finding myself pushing a cart with a pineapple in it and no idea why I was there or how I got there. I must have slept most of the following six months. Even yoga became too much for me.

But being ill can be a blessing sometimes. I have had to completely reevaluate life and my relationship to the world. I did the usual "stages of grief" thing. I denied, I got angry, I bargained, I became depressed. Then finally, I came to an acceptance. Maybe I'd get better, maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I'd get my old life back, maybe I wouldn't.

I had to ask myself why Other People were bitten by ticks and didn't get Lyme Disease. My immune system had not only failed me, but had begun to attack me in numerous ways. I began to see a pattern, to observe the defensiveness in my body's response to its environment.

I am better now, though I have little stamina and still cannot work. I have more good days than bad days, but the first two hours of any day are slow and painful and my digestion works intermittently. Always strong and fit, I am now weak and plump. The Lyme appears to be off me, and the doc says now it is a matter of gradually repairing the damage. Some evidence shows that Lyme never leaves once it finds a home. It can hide anywhere in the body and wait for its chance again. Stress provides conditions that Lyme is quick to exploit.

Now, I make beads. Someday I may sell them, but for now, I simply create them. And they are making me well again........

SuZie